refreshed. =)

10 days.

2008-04-01T00:12:00.002+08:00

so training at tp was awesome. like finally. heh heh. was prety satisfied. right from warm ups, till the very last 10 minutes of game time.

techno with the girls after. finally, it all came back.

thank you for being there everytime i needed someone to talk to. thank you for all your attempts to cheer me up whenever i needed it. thank you for all the sweet sweet msgs you could ever think of. maybe it's just you. you're really a very good friend, both to him and i. i just don't know how else to thank you, but thanks alot. ((:

so i'm left with 10 days. can't believed i survived like.. errr. 13 already. i miss you, love.

babyloveee.

2008-03-28T01:56:00.002+08:00

back from thailand, one day has passed. and i think i'm already missing it. all the shopping, and the 'howww muuuuccchh??' in that thai accent, and 'discounntttt okayyy?'. haha. all the memories. like how my leg landed on someone during the first night, how max told us me and mayb were facing each other during our sleep, and having me snoring right into her face. how max stupidly vomitted into the sink instead of the toilet bowl. and left us with the vomit for 2 nights. dammit. i'm missing the food. the tom yam, the squid. it was totally awesome. =)

and back in singapore, the normal life. no jaywalking, no screaming and shouting, no wake up calls in the morning. no more waking up to seeing teammates in the same room, no more bargaining. and i did a mad walk across the road just now with raa. i thought i was still in bangkok haha. and we were sharing stories about thailand. how nice.

so training just now was good, thought i lost it. but it was fine. dinner with raa wannie box jess and geraldine. laughed our funny stories out about bangkok.

streets of bangkok.

love's back in 13 days. super exxciteeeddddd! =))

and you just lifted my spirits up sky high. even though you're so far away. i hope you're enjoying the letters dearest.

back.

2008-03-21T17:02:00.002+08:00

back from few weeks of alot of things that happened. the games for the past weeks were okay, and this week's finally a break from the SFL, which also means THAILAND WITH THE WOLVES. seriously i just can't wait for later. it's like. shopping, finally.

the chalet was the most awesome thing that happened this week. well, i thought it was. like late night snacking, late night cards, attempts at watching movies, late night games, and late night walks. totally made my week, perhaps just my life. thanks baby.

so it's.. 20 days to go until april 11. goodness. i haven't been dealing with the past 3 days properly at all. roarrrr. someone just fly me over there right now. but thanks a lot to all who have been or attempted to cheer me up in everyway possible. i can do this. yeah andy! 20 more daysssssss. =))

and so, i leave for thailand at 7am tomorrow morning. anyone want anything? i've been blessed with such great parents who contribute to my expenditure there in bangkok. going on retail therapy and we're gonna get crazyy. like literally. now now. i need to learn some thai bargaining skills.

baby, come back. ROAR.

2008-02-29T19:53:00.002+08:00

i'm finally back from a long long break from this blog. the exams were somehow, a killer. things jsut didn't go my way, and i think i might have to go back in a few weeks time. oh god. gotta think about thailand now man. what if it really happens. oh god.

so this is the craziest of all my stuy breaks i have ever had. starbucks, mccafe, home. thanks to pork for making it down to the east everytime he could to accompany me. must say that it was really great having him around.

the psp is seriously getting addictive. and wannie just had to tell me about ape academy. and hence, i abandoned nhl. still stuck at one level though. oh wells.

movie today was awesome. for one reason or another. heh heh. =P

floorball at jwss tmr. i hope nth bad like last week happens again. wobbly legssss. hahahaa.

and when you know someone's feelings are true, that is when you trust him the most. and that's why i did.

for all the reasons you are, i am gonna miss youuu. 3 weeks is long. =(

2008-02-15T01:51:00.002+08:00

when you told me you brought someone along,
i was shocked.
but you took out a big box.
a box that i know was from build-a-bear.
i couldn't stop smiling.
and you thought i was crazy.
the cutest and most adorable things that you could possibly surprise me with.
i was touched.
flying high, through the walkways of orchard road.
everything just seemed to have gone away.
all the difficulties i have been facing.
i just felt sooo good.

truffles, wallet, dinner.
what else could i ever think of?
i was smiling once again right from the start.
the thought of seeing how you smiled.
enjoyed every part of today,
even the littlest,
like toys'r'us and me spilling everything i could touch.

bus rides are beginning to be my favourites.
and no one wil ever know why.
the way i get to hold you.
and how you prevent me from falling,
really really touches me, again.
i never knew how you could do such things.
it's built with you.

confessions, confessions.
finally i told you, and finally you know.
never thought you'd feel that way too.
and this is when i feel the most loved.
the most cared about.
the most lucky.

sometimes, i tend to ask myself.
what if i never met you.
what if i forgot a great person like you existed,
what if that day,
my friend didn't make me think of you.
what if i never talked to you even though i knew you.
what if wfc was the last we talked.
we would be walking past each other right now,
maybe just a simple hi and bye.
BUT.
it's all the opposite now.
there is much to it than we can both imagine.
and promises we made,
will forever remain as promises.
because..
you are the one that i treasure the most,
and won't wanna lose.

i'm feeling lucky. =D

you got me WILD.

2008-02-09T01:35:00.000+08:00

so peili's house with the rest was awesome. i won quite a bit. totally contented. and i had gloria jean's cheesecake today too. superly happy. thanks porkkkk. =)

the exams are so near and i need to study. super lagging behinddddd. =((

you got me in tears and i really don't know why it came out. it got me thinking till morning how much i've done for you. sometimes, i really feel like giving up.

2008-02-07T22:04:00.000+08:00

a very HAPY NEW CHINESE NEW YEAR to all. =)

so it was a day of visiting, right from 10am in the morning. punggol was first, then yishun, the clementi, then jurong and here i am. home sweet home. i was thinking about how much i actually see my relatives in a year, and i realised, it's only ONCE. it's kinda sad la. but oh well.

looking at how much everyone has changed. my 2nd cousins are married and pregnant, one due next month. they've just turned into well, more matured people. okay, i dunno where i'm getting to. and many were with their boyfriends and girlfriends. i just had hell lotsa fun joking and such. but i was too tired, wanted to get back early.

so it was all about the jokes, laughs, fun and not forgetting, the angpows. highlight of the festival isn't it?

i looked around, and it suddenly struck me about what i've been feeling happy from for the past 6 months. it could be everything else around me except you. it also could be you, not everything else around me. the answer's gotta come soon really. i don't know what to expect.

piggy-wiggy. =))

2008-02-05T01:47:00.000+08:00

jac's chalet was a blast! HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY JACJAC!

so we went down after the match on saturday, and there were many many people there. i really wonder what my 21st will be like. haha. food was great, company was great, everything about the chalet was starting to get awesome. when everyone stated leaving, the floorballers were left, and that was when everything started getting crazy. indian poker and 5-10, it was awesome. hahaha.

i think i kinda got darnnn high during 5-10 with wannie, haha and shila. we were reallyyyy going madd. but controllable la. i think i ran around looking for sprite and rolled on the floor. haha.

there were 8 of us left awake, and someone suggested catching the sunrise. so 8 of us squeeeeeezzeedddd in pris' car, and left. 6 of us were behind, and me, shila and mayb had someone sitting on each of us. andddd. we were just mentioning about roadblocks and police and such, and suddenly, we saw a guy flashing his torch from his bike. alll of us started to panic. it soooo looked like a police check, and pris went oooooooooohhmygodddd like so many times. and we all went like, LEAN BACK LEAN BACK! to hide me, shila and mayb. we literally became car seats for 3 fat women man. hahahaa. but then we found out the police officers were there cos a car had overturned. gosh.

so we were in pursuit of the sunrise. we went from end to end, but the sun was jsut hiding from us. so much for sunrise. it was really darnnnn funny. by the time we settled down to watch, i think it was about 7plus, and the sun had already risen. hahaha. damn funny. we did stop at the runway though. to watch planes take off. i think they were really awesome.

soo. i was dead beat when i got home. i kept falling asleep everywhere i sat. it's like finally i have something to blog about. hahaa.

today was shopping for nothing. is it just me? or are the clothes not nice? i spend like 5 hours at vivo, but bought only things from DAISO. hahaha. waited for pork to end work, and off to home. i'm so tired. gloria jeans cheesecake and very vanilla drink was awesome though. =))

PEEKTURESSSSSS

RAA and i! super awesome pic. love it.

in the whee hours of the morning!

__________________________________________

what keeps me going. tlc. =)

the smile on your face
lets me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes
saying you never leave me
the touch of your hands
says you'll catch me
whenever i fall

you make me go crazy over you more and more each day..

hat trick!

2008-01-27T00:34:00.000+08:00

you leave me breathless
you’re everything good in my life
you leave me breathless
i still can’t believe that you’re mine
you just walked out of one of my dreams
so beautiful you’re leaving me

you must have been sent from heaven to earth
to change me
you’re like an angel
the thing that i feel is stronger than love believe me
you’re something special
i only hope that i’ll one day deserve what you’ve given me
but all i can do is try
every day of my life

today proved to be one of my bestest games i've ever played. i loved everything about it. thank you girls for making it happen. =D

i was around since 12pm today, and i think i'm lacking of sleep. like alot of it. hahaha. i shall sleep in till late tmr. but that also depends what time i'm gonna turn in tmr.

i'm so undecided about tmr. i hope smth good turns out of it. heh heh.

somehow, you.. are amazing. in every way possible. you just are. =))

2008-01-24T22:58:00.000+08:00

so the league's in.. 2 days. and the projects and such have been killing me. and to add on, training and what not. well, it's gonna be over soon, thank god.

training was so so this week. didn't really think i did well. we'll just see how it goes this sat la.

mad's bed is super comfy. i fell asleep and didn't wanna get up. or is it just me and my pig ways? haha.

i think i've gotten back the habit of being all random and such that i don't knwo what i'm talking about. and.. the pork's missing. again. =(

i was looking through my pictures, and i found this.

those crazy days at haha's house during hari raya. and, karmen's bright ideas. heh heh. oh! and my red red specs. =)

let's move on to where we really know we stand together. looking forward.

2008-01-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

you'll be greatly remembered, my friend. thank you for all your help you've rendered during the past years we lived our sec school life together.

you just proved how much more worth than just a friend you are. thank you for being there for me, just as i needed you. thank you for lending me your shoulder when i needed it the most. thanks alot, pork.

2008-01-21T13:48:00.001+08:00

IVP finals was.. AWESOME. really really. we all went wild. and the pork did it, again. =))

valerie did some filming in my house yesterday, and i think it was really funny. like the cast and all. and how my dad kept laughing. but it was interesting though. =) mc's and himalayan tea with pork again, and it was great. i think i should stop using awesome. hahh.

training resumes tmr, pasirian training again on thurs, and the league on sat. wow. it's amazing how a year passes on just like that. and this year, i'm finally turning 18. =D

your voice, soundtrack of my summer. like really. never ending fun, never ending laughs. you jsut brighten up my day the way no one could ever. <3

pigg.

2008-01-16T11:16:00.000+08:00

chomp chomp and sticky rice was awesome. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH HOE!

getting back on track, ivp's over. projects projects projects. lots of unhappiness, more surprises. dammit.

and they made it. awesomely proud of mr pork. told you you could. =D

thanks for being there for me at times when i really needed to know that there is really someone behind me. thanks alot. <3

week blast.

2008-01-13T17:21:00.000+08:00

last week was a blast.

the games,
the determination,
the skipping of lessons cos of ivp,
the late night dinners,
the assurance we all did our best.

supper at mac's was awesome,
the company,
the jokes,
the many many things we talked about.
ogawa's was awesome too!
the japanese food,
tako pachi!

all in all, awesome week.

today's a sunday, and rushing assignments are all we can do. the pigggg's still asleep omggg.

wolves, though we didn't make it, we still did it. a long journey ahead for all of us, dreams to achieve. it is when we believe and work together that we WILL. iloveyougirls.

OH. and look at what wannie discovered in NTUC yesterday. she screamed 'EH FARAH!!! THIS SWEET LOOKS LIKE YOUUU!' and there was this auntie who looked at me and then the sweet and she laughed. ohmygosh.

andandand, i showed my mum this picture and she was like. is that you farah? double ohmygosh. JEN! this is the pic i wanted to show you. heh heh.

it's times like these that i can't help feeling more appreciated than ever. thank you pork. =)

2008-01-12T01:11:00.000+08:00

these few days has definitely been a blast.

thank you for all the awesome things you've done. thank you for caring so much. thank you.

I MISS YOU.

you and me, and the moonlight.

2008-01-07T13:02:00.000+08:00

i think i'm going back to bakerzin. i dropped by yesterday to say hello, and confirm my schedule to help them for cny, and i just miss them. i walked into the kitchen and it was wowww! hahaa. we'll see how it goes la.

rollerblading with mr lazyy pig was awesome. haaa. someone thought i couldn't skate huh. haha. it was damn fun. it's been a long long time. i just needed some time off everything. and east coast park was just the perfect idea man. so we blade till almost the end, and it was a crazy rush from that end back to the skate shop. 20 min, and omg. we went so fast. and jen jsut had to take the route through all the seafood restaurants blading past everyone eating. so embarrassing. what if i fell? oh! i didn't fall yesterday! hahahaha.

slacking at ecp after that. and i showed him stars. and he spotted the backside. that idiot. =(

self-declared holiday today, to chiong research and what not. still deciding abt np later. god dammit.

we'll pull through tmr wolves!

just the thought.

2008-01-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

so yesterday was awesome. went to school jsut for leadership and off i went. travelling over 20 stops just for one purpose, or two. valerie was damn nice to accompany me. i owe her lots man.

so we both sat there, hearts stopping, then beating once again and then stopping. i think it was a rather well fought game, despite the two early goals conceded. one VERY bad call by the ref, bias? oh god. but mr lazyy cow still went to clarify. i know he can argue. like very badly. hahaa.

out to dinner with jen and andy. they're funny luhhh. hahaha. like finally caught up with andy! it's been so long. actually i don't even remember how i knew him. heh heh. sat down to talk to wannie and raa at newton after, and very very funny things happened. like the bloody cockroach which crawled into my shoe! ughh. must be that pigggg. and all the acting and weird people at newton.

training was bad, no shots, no form, no nothing. we've gotta do this wolves! =)

i think you were awesome, in everyway that you displayed last evening. it sure needed a lot to score the way you did, and i realy admire you for that. and all those gestures, gets me addicted to you. (:

2008!

2008-01-01T21:14:00.000+08:00

so 2008 is in. 2007 was truly crazy. right from the start, o level results, posting and finally starting a new life in poly. it's been crazy. floorball, tpwolves, everything. ahhh. thanks so much everyone who made my 2007 a happy one. =) including you, mr lazyy cow.

so 24 hour floorball was awesome. well, besides missing the countdown at vivo or anywhere, spending the time from 31 dec 10pm to 1230pm today at tampines west cc proved undeniably great. it was crazy. us joining forces and just playing our hearts out. was especially pleased with everything that was going sooo fine, and yeah.

im just too tired to blog. shall be back soon. school tmr.. dratsss.

and to get to spend the start of the new year with you, right from the beginning at 12am, it jsut couldn't get any better. to see you smile, play and laugh jsut topped everything up. i don't know what to call this, but i just love seeing you the way you are. how you would be so sociable, so funny to just about anyone, including people you don't know. you just got to know this. don't know how long it will take, but yeah. its you..

awesome moonlight, and the breeze.

2007-12-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

okay. i'm finally back from a long long holiday, plus camps, plus holidays and parties in between. BALI was greatt. everything was damn nice i should say. well except for the weather. but i still managed to tan, and burn at least. SHOPPING WAS THE ULTIMATE YAYNESS. the things there are like freaking cheap, and not forgetting coffee bean and starbucks. i just know i had a fantastic time there.

and so, when i got back to singapore, i was rushing for camp. floorball camp. and i love the wolves. like ALOT. we had so many pranks, and even more fun, during game time and such. some hiccups, but we overcame it. the wake up and all were crazy. reservoir at 7 in the morning and friendly later in the afternoon. it was all worthwhile la. and on the night i slept there, i saw a cockroach crawling out from cheryl's area while talking to my fellow cow friend on the phone. and bloody hell, as i was laughing damn hard, that 6 feet insect crawled onto my hand and onto my phone. oh goddddd. it was a wonder why i didn't screammmmmm. reallyyy.

so on the second night of camp, i left for malaysia. and it was awesome too. the sun was scorching hot, and so as soon as i got there, i got changed and into the pool i go! the pool was awesome toooo. heh heh. my relatives were great, played mahjong and won quite a bit, and jsut relaxed. what i've been wanting. resttttt.

and so i'm back in singapore, the past few days have been greattttttt, and today was totally awesome. one of the best of my life so far, and i don't think i'll ever forget it.

out with valerie to vivo, to collect my card from doralynn, and then to watch nanking. gosh. it was darnnnnn sad. at least i didn't cry laaaa. but the story depicted was.. gosh. you could practically feel the pain and agony of everyone there. okay nevermind. so we went down to santorini to have a drink, and jen jsut couldn't make things more funnier. stupid. the whole thing was.... funny. hahaha. sex with the banglas from sentosa? heh heh. and that idiot kept calling me roasted pig. ughhhh. i'm so gonna get you drunk on my brithday jen. just you waitttt.

so there's training tmr, and ivp in a few days. i think i'm sooooo gonna die la. so many things to do and school's starting. like.. wow. can't wait for the next 2 week though. =)

tonight was awesome. let's do it one more time, just me and you, and the moonlight. how far do i need to go to tell you?

BACK. and goinggg.

2007-12-15T01:28:00.000+08:00

so khai complained about my DEAD BLOG, and i just realised how long i've not updated too. HEH.

okayy. so the term tests weree.. a little disappointing. blame me for not starting early. and my time management has gone downnnn. all the way. hahahaa. maybe i've been playing floorball and slacking too much. and there's also projects to think about. goshness.

i think i should strat sleeping early cos i think i'm not getting enough sleep at all. and when i actually have nth to do, i jsut can't sleep in till late and jsut wake up. oh goddd. there's a friendly tmr, and i'm leaving on sunday. and when i'm back, there's fb camp to go to, and i'll be gone to malaysia after i come back from camp. which means, ARGH.

fish and co on thurs was totally awesome. we were like crazy the whole time through. and jen kept laughing at the waiters. they're so funny i swear. one waited will repeat what another has said and all. and his nonsense.

and then there was starbucks. kinda reminded me about markbucks and the macchiato. and yusof ishak and his clones. oh godd. almost died really. but most importantly, i had fun. rawrrrr. just needed a good laugh after 4 days of hell.

and i'll blog on sunday, just before i leave. khai, WMAN needs to go for a night drive again okayyyyyyy. ughhh.

hey there baby. =) you got me moving, moving, moving. sweetest love. =)

sigh.

2007-12-05T02:10:00.000+08:00

training was .. goshness. at least things improved from last week. totally lost it.

interview tmr and i'm so not ready. oh well. melissa's been a dear. =)

i thought i had you, and then it's all over. those words i said are really how i feel. how i feel about things right from the beginning. it's not that i wanted you to feel bad. i just didn't like it. like. ahh. i dunno. i shan't say it was all empty promises, but you got me thinking real hard there. i wish a chance over the others also important to you. i just don't know how to make things clear to you, how to let you know. it's been long. but it's also been difficult, heart wrenching.

i need you as much as i need the world.

2007-12-03T13:54:00.001+08:00

i feel like screaming everything that's been contained inside me for the longest period ever. ROARRR.

i found out stuff today, and i went like. OMFG! everyone knows! but ahhh. i wanted it to be low-profiled. booooooo.

this is another random entry of mine. cosss. rarr. i'm just in this trance of thoughts that i just can't seem to settle.

SOMEONE played a prank serious prank on me yesterday. ROAR. i was scared shits out of it man. angry.

i wanna go to work and laugh everything out.

and i'm loving my RED HOT w910i! hehe.

JENMARK. we seriously need to meet up. i'm super serious about the serious part.

you're all that i ever need.

2007-12-03T02:08:00.000+08:00

sometimes, when you travel on the roads for a long time, you look out of the window, and then your mind drifts away from the reality you're in. you ponder upon things you wish you could have, you ponder upon things you wish would happen to you. things like love, success and being as well off as the other people that you know. you mind doesn't seem to make you stay happy just like that. we are after all human beings, and we do have feelings. the world is undeniably hard to work for. and things in life simply just dont come easy.

i've been thinking about what certain people think about their lives. to set burden on their parents, and then pretend that they've done nothing wrog and to get back to their old ways. i've had that experience closed-up, and i can't help but feel sorry for their families.

this is becoming emo. i dunno. it's just some thoughts i felt like putting up. oh well.

and everything i would ever wish for is you. even if i had just one. you're the mosstt.

2007-12-01T01:40:00.000+08:00

the week.. has been bad. and i dunno how else i'm gonna go through this phase of life. i mean. omg la. so many things to do. and i just got the ivp fixtures, and i'm so disappointed. BOO.

so work was superb. i love work. i can't believe i thought of quitting. oh well. i think i'm beginning to slack alot at bakerzin. everytime i go there, i crap for a longggggg time before i do work. hehehe.

i think i'm a lucky girl.

addicted to you.

2007-11-28T10:56:00.000+08:00

our breakfast date at mac's finally came true. hahaaha. i totally persuaded them to go and we met at like 7.55am. yanjun, jasmine and adilah yo! breakfast was nice. everyone was nice and we all ended up acting stupid la. especially jasmine. she went like.. 'EHH! HAPPY MEAL WHERE'S THE TOY??' when the person didn't give yanjun the toy. so embarrassing i swear.

and currently freezing in the school library waiting for 12pm to come. jasmine just left for class and left me alone. =( but it's okay. i've got work to do. and i'm like as sleepy as a cow. fell asleep on the wonderful sofas the tp library has. i think i kinda dreamt for awhile. hope i didn't snore. HOHO.

okay. i think i'm kinda abandoning this blog la. it's likeee.. no time to update! hahaha. and everytime i convince myself i've got time i just don't know what to blog about. dammit. oh wells.

i've got to decide on a club dammit. i laid out my reasons for both already. okay. i just can't seem to get to an answer. BOO.

there's a very disgusting guy in the library and i dunno why his friends can stand him without even feeling a tinge of embarassment. thank god he's not sitting at my table.

this is sucha random post. i think i'm addicted ot my lappie. this is so bad la.

khai's having his TP today and i'm praying so hard. i just want him to pass, and not wait any longer! he has toooooooo!

i'm getting addicted to you more and more everydayyyyyyy. it's god-sent. <3

2007-11-22T00:11:00.000+08:00

'our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. your playing small does not serve the world. there was nothing in light that was about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. we were all meant to shine as children do. it's not just in some of us. it's in everyone. and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same, as we are liberated from our own fear. Our presence automatically liberates others.'

baby, iloveyou. ((:

2007-11-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

the friendly was fairly okay i shall say. nice play ups and all. whooo. dinner was great, chilling out was great. that stupid kafoong got super high with the bee movie toys, that she laughed at everything till she cried. and the whole ex-bf thing. HAHAHAHHA!

work tmr, sarah's open house too. which meansss.. i need to complete my work today. dratsss.

3 months it took me.
it was 3 months of questions.
ifs, hows, maybes, hopes.
and then, as i never thought it would,
it did.
ilu, with all my heart. <3

2007-11-16T01:21:00.000+08:00

my week has been perfectly great. the sleepover was cool, getting high on everything, laughing at everything there was in the world. the kiss on va's bro. oh ho ho. it was all good. and the freezing aircon, like we were in the north pole. the card games, the late night chats, but all in all, the love of the three of us.

i skipped lotsa lessons this week and i'm feeling so bad. that's why i just chionged econs today HOHO. jenmark, i did work okayy? =D

so my stupid toe bone is swollen, like a fishball now. it was like a marble the other time round. and walking is sucha chore, it makes me feel like my toes are sprained. how to play like thatttt. dammit. and floorball is gonna be my life, as of.. january 2008. oh well.

finally friday is here. last day of the week, no work, jsut time to enjoy. oh godddd. i'm loving life, and i can't help admitting how random i am now. cos adilah's entry made me wanna blog, when i know i didn't really wanna blog cos i'm too lazyyyyyyyyyyy.

adilah, take things slowly and settle things properly okay? when you need to rant, know that i'm always around. =)

sometimes i need to know how i really feel about you. i really hope this isn't going the wrong way. cos, i know what you really want. sometimes, it's all worth it. especially for a person like you. =)

in my heart.

2007-11-12T00:28:00.000+08:00

wannie's house was greatt! i loved the food and stuff yay. and wannie can cook! hahahahaha. oh well. i don't know why i'm so high right now when i thought i was emo. hoho..

so i've jut got news about january. and i can't help thinking about my time mamagement. it's gonna be baddddddd. but i'm gonna be stronggggg!

when i say it, i mean it. i don't know how else to tell you, cos i've tried. baby, you move me. (=

2007-11-11T00:33:00.001+08:00

so the past few days has been great. the outings, the towning, the craziness. i love my mates. and we were so tired, or rather, having fun talking, that we confidently took the wrong train. i can't believe we didn't check. haha. and today, kafoong went to get her ezlink done. and subway after, YAYNESS. wannie saw a strawberry shortcake super big balloon. so she got it. and we cabbed. we tried waving to people using it, and we were having a hell of a good time, but no one responded on the road. then, when all hopes were lost, we waved at the guards at tp, and they waved back. damn hilarious. heh heh.

out to dinner at fish and co. had a totally great time, i don't know why. movie, the game plan after. i think i had a great day. heh heh. =D

PLEASE ADMIT YOU BOUGHT THE BAGGGG.. =(

and so, after all i've heard, i can't find the right words to finally tell myself you ain't worth at all. i thought you were true all these while, and our friendship meant ALOT to me. those late night talks, late night laughs. all comes to this? it' all gone wrong. all gone wrong.

2007-11-06T01:24:00.000+08:00

like how salihah named her open house, my VIRGIN open house was greattttt. thanks to everyone who came! =D had so uhc fun wathcing soccer, and yahh just crapping. the hiding under the table, the rush to watch hsm 2 and all. i love you wolves. jalan kayu with calvin, wenlin and maxiepoo after. stingray was great, most importantly the company! =))

so today, school for 1.5h, then town after! slacked at spinelli's for awhile, before meeitng valerie and shafiq. went off to seoul garden, and we surprise valerie with her present. HOHO. we're all evil luhh. but yes. happy birthday valerie! =DD

once in a lifetime
means there’s no second chance
so i believe than you and me
should grab it while we can
make it last forever
and never give it back
it’s our turn,
and i’m loving’ where we’re at
because this moment’s really all we have

everydayof our lives,
wanna find you there,
wanna hold on tight..

best friend.

2007-11-02T01:44:00.000+08:00

so i'm glad the surprises for khai turned out great. me and achap were like laughing our hearts out la. well, hope you liked it khai. =))

i've been having fun lately, jsut chilling out with the usuals and yeah. enjoying the time i'm having. work is extremely great, and it just keeps going. NUS friendly on sat, and my open house on sat. happinesss.

i know a place where we can go to
a place where no one knows you
they won't know who we are
i know a place that we can run to
and do those things we want to
they won't know who we are

i know a place we'll be together
and stay this young forever
they won't know who we are

let me take you there..

love is cinta.

2007-10-31T02:07:00.000+08:00

don't put me in this position
tell me who you really are
i don't wanna live in this position
i just wanna know the answers to these questions
questions that i can't answer myself..

you're special, special, special. <3

workkkk.

2007-10-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

so i was dreading school, work, and everything. just wanted a good sleep. but i dragged myelf to lecture, and then to work. they weren't that bad after all. and isketch in silicon lab was sooo fun la. heh heh.

work was great. there was great company, and jokes and more jokes. i love bakerzin. =)

floorball tmrrrrrr! yayness pleasee. though i thought i was not really hyped up for a friendly. but oh well. we'll see about tmr. oh my timetable's screwed.

i think i should stop falling asleep while talking halfway on msn or sms. it hurts you know. like yesterday, i fell asleep from 0230 to 0330 while talking to jen. i woke up when.. my music stopped. hoho.

i misssssss you. alot. =( sometimes i gotta keep myself soooo busy just not to think about you. but it fails.

<33333333

2007-10-28T22:36:00.000+08:00

so i took a walk along orchard road today with syafiq. couldn't help thinking about the good ol' times. when everything was so carefree, everything was just, anything. i mean, i want the past back. the good past.

as i sit alone in my room, i can't help thinking about you. i can't help thinking about the days when i could see you. can't help thinking of the day we went out, can't help thinking about the greatest time i had with you. i know, you've always been around, since we started talking. and it has never stopped, not even for one day. and as time passes, i realised you're a person with sucha great character, and one who is so carefree, just moving on as life takes you. you were the person who listened carefully as i had a story to tell, the person who made me smile when i had tears to shed. it was you who told me i could be the player i wanna be.

it's you you you.

khai, watch out for your surprise! HEHEHE.

2007-10-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

so haha's today was superb. the food, the company, the videos and all. whooo. and i love the congkak once again! hahahaha. watched the match btw TP and ITE. best match ever played la. love u wolvessss.

PEEKTURES SOON!

sometimes, when i hear the phone ring, only to find your name printed boldly across the screen, i smile telling myself how lucky i am. to have met you, maybe accidentally, and then to be able to talk to you. life's never been greater. hearts. =)

2007-10-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

PEEKTURES!

#99

ONE WOLVES. ALL SMILES. =D

wonderfullest line! (:

superb week. time for the weekends. finally some rest, some time to shopshopshop. and then, getting down to work. damnn.

26 letters, my life. abcdefghijklmnopqrstvwxyz. u're missing. sweetsweetsweet u. <3

2007-10-25T01:19:00.000+08:00

great day today, great love, great fun, great team. i love tpwolves in any way i can, and i know we've just started. thank you wolves for making this pol-ite season such a memorable one. we stood strong, stronger than what everyone, including us. we fought, and we fought real hard. everyone did so well today, and it really was a great effort. because of one reason; teamwork. we did it girls. we did a BREAKTHROUGH, and we got what we wanted. ONE WOLVES.

it really was for you. i hope you'll not let the disappointment get the better of you. cos in my eyes, you'll always be one great player. and i mean it. continue smiling the way you always do.. <3

and if i lived a thousand years, you know,
i never could explain,
the way i lost my heart to you that day.
but if destiny decided i should look the other way,
then the world would never know,
the greatest story ever told,
and did i tell you that i love you,
just how much i really need you,
did i tell you that i love you, tonighttt.

keep smiling. you're just one person who keeps me sky high.

2007-10-24T00:54:00.000+08:00

so i got put down three times by you today. as much as it is on jess's blog, the way she wanna rip a jaw off a person, is exactly how i feel about you right now. so what if you fucking don't wanna talk to me? it doesn't fucking give you any right to put me down jsut cause you're a year or two older than me. cause from what i see, you just don't act your age. you cry, you pout, you act cute at wnything and everything. so what if you're overly sensitive? i think you irritate me more than we humans irritate the ants in the ground.

don't fucking come and ask me if i am blind when i ask where someone is. you could fucking recognise her, i couldn't. that was the only difference that was between us. if i was fucking blind, i wouldn't even have been able to look you into the eye with respect when talking to you okay. i sould have jsut talked and stared into the air. that is blind. fuck. stop giving me those looks. i know you've got something against me. stop and i mean it. FUCKING STOP trying to grab attention by acting cute. cause, you're not one bit. and don't fucking cry when you read this. come one. grow up, kid. grow.

last pol-ite match, memories, memories and more memories. we fought hard wolves, and we will. LOVES.

oh dear you.. =)

the way you moveeeeee me.

2007-10-23T02:23:00.000+08:00

so i went down early to rp today. watched the guys game, i think they played hard la. but jsut tough luck. i was feeling sooo drowsy, i swear i could like.. just sleeeeeeepp there despite the noise. haha. warm ups felt weird, i dunno why. hahahaa. super cold, fever was omg la. im so thankful i survived. scaryyy.

game went okayy, could've been better. it's okay wolves! we will! =D

first day of school, was not good. i fell asleep in lecture. superrrr drowsy. almost died la. UGH.

and it's special things like these that you do that makes me feel on top of the world. i hope one day, you'll tell me why you bother. you know i do feel happy with you around. sore throat cured, totally cos of you. <3

2007-10-21T03:41:00.000+08:00

i'm making that one move. i know you can read through all i've been doing. and that's cos i try to tell you how much you mean to me. cos you really do. i don't know what else to do. maybe patience is all that everyone needs. and i bet it's true.

every moment with you is special, every moment shared is unforgettable. my mr brightside..

misses.

BIRTHDAY!

2007-10-20T01:07:00.000+08:00

my birthday proved to be one of the best days i've ever had in my life. A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO MADE MY DAY HAPPEN. really appreciate everything, i just do.

so shafiq spent the first few hours of my birthday with me. thank god for the car, spent the time at changi, just chatting and yeah. definitely had fun. and then got home, rested, couldn't wait for the day to start again. met bryan, his 2 friends and ivan for lunch. once again, finally time to catch up just before school reopens. it's like.. haha. i don't know. had alot of things to talk about and yeah. bryan and ivan came to watch the match.

and then, when i got to school, i just felt superrrr happy. and because the WOLVES made me. kafoong brought me to the toilet, and wanted to bend stick, and all this kinda nonsense. i honestly didn't think that anything was going on outside. hahaha. and when i eventually went out, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM THE WOLVES. felt super special, and yes. to you guys, i love you. really appreciate everything, and i love you la!

the match today was awesome. fast paced, great passes, great shots on target, great chances. and i loved it. oh. and greatest audience. haha. really felt the whole game goinggggg! and another HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM THE WOLVES! hahaha. goshhhh. i'm feeling high!

to tpwolves: thank you for making my day superrr enjoyable. and my birthday goal really came true because of youuu guysss! LOVE YOU!!!

to everyone who contributed to this happy happy day, thank you. thank you for all the wishes, and more wishes. the hugs, the cheers everything. smilessss! =D

THANK YOU! I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE I CAN TELL YOU GUYS. LOVESSS!

you made my day, and yes. everything i told you, is true. thanks for the wishes at the start, and at the end. and your hopes came true. i really enjoyed myself like how you wanted me too. and yes, that one goal, for you. birthday outing, still on. <3

love of my life.

2007-10-18T01:51:00.000+08:00

tough luck once again today. but it's okay. i think we got our act together again, and TPWOLVES JIAYOU! =))

sometimes, when i think back about it, i can't help but smile. you make me happy. in every and any way you can. seeing you again today was great. and sometimes it's hard to admit how much i miss you.. =))

=))

2007-10-17T02:47:00.000+08:00

pol-ite tmr, new heights for the wolves. we will. =)

ipod touch came today! i really feel so blessed la. hahahaha. jen stared at me when he found out. HOHO. =)

HAPPY HAPPY DAY! suntec, meet up, gelare, wolves. all in one, everything just falls into place. by far one of the smiliest day i've had!

i know you enjoyed your birthday. thanks for making my day! =D

pride.

2007-10-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

taking defeat in our stride. TPWOLVES GOO!

so the game didn't go as well as all of us thought it would go. but it's okay. we're still tpwolves. =D fell so many times. damn funny please. grazed both kneessssss. arghh.

out to town with kafoong tmr! =)) retail therapy is a must yo. after so longggg.

a very happy birthday to you. i think you should have known by now. well, continue those happy times. deinfitely appreciate everything in a way. the feeling's too hard to describe. maybe it's just you. maybe it's me. but those words i've said, goes out to you, you, you. enjoy your birthday, sweets. =))

excitement.

2007-10-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

POL-ITE's in three days. and i feel super tired, i don't know why. msut be the trainings, the work, and all the sleepless nights. i'm enjoying it though. like floorball gathering through the net at night. ahhh. i love tpwolves.

so hari raya is tomorrow. and i don't know. i kinda have a weird feeling about it. wish i could run away. hahaa. don't askkkkk.

POLITEPOLITEEEEEEEEEE!

i miss mad com. dangssss.

but i miss you more. 16th. =D

pol-ite.

2007-10-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

so pol-ite is in.. 7 days time. super dunno what to feel. hahaa.

work today was superrrrrbbb. had fun laughing and things like that. sunny was an idiot. he made me put the milk jug on his tray and then he zoomed spinned before i let go. and then i let go, and the jug turned one round on its edges, and before it fell, he caught it. one drop splashed out. and 2 hearts stopped. and then there was this mother whose daughter's name was farah. and she was a young kid. so everytime farah did something wrong, her mother would go like 'FARAH! FARAH!' and made me turn. and it got so funny that even it got my supervisor laughing at me. =( cos it's everyone's natural reaction to turn when someone calls their name right. at first i kept wondering who the hell it was who found out my name so fast, when my badge said 'trainee'. danggg. and free warm chocolate cakes are making me wanna order one for myself. it looks HOT.

visited dear khai at tkc today. hoho. the world is so small. he's working with my sec sch senior man. so scary. bought my baju! and i slept all the way home. goodnessssss.

special special special. that's how you make me feel. and so are you to me. =)

=(

2007-10-05T04:31:00.000+08:00

and so, floorball training today got me higher than high. like what khai said, sometimes after you scored or you did something that is good, it just makes you wanna keep going on. maybe that was what pushed me. oh well. pulled my hemstring though. =(

so fish soup after training yay! hahahaha. oops. ayeee.. i don't know what to blog about. i really don't. melissa says i'm emo. hahaaaaaassss.

isketch made me fall asleep just now. =X this is bad. i think i need to change my body clock. or else. i won't be able to wake up when school starts. arghh.

okay. i don't know what to think of it. it's like. yes no maybe i don't know all at once. i don't know. arghhhhh. maybe what she said was right. stubborn? hahhhhhh. lalalala. i think i'm falling for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. <3

heyyou.

2007-10-02T00:25:00.000+08:00

so i just got home from death at a funeral. was damn damn funny please? we were laughing like damn loudly la. and the theatre was so empty. hehh. so starbucking was fun. just talked, and emo-ed. about everything. lol.

training tmr at 3pm. til 7. bahhhhhhh. dead.

i'm soooo gone at blogging now. maybe later man.

and you remind me of him. and i think i'm falling. once again, i don't know what to think. keep it goin. =)

dreams.

2007-09-30T15:30:00.000+08:00

so i dreamy of him a few nights back, and that got me thinking about him every minute since. i woke up in tears, woke up feeling lousy. feelings still around? it's been long. 2 years? goshness. the good old times were great. and i know it won't happen again, ever. accepting it, moving on, moved on. but why this feeling?

training feels weird. sighs.

sakae with kf, cherissa and her friend was great. laughed like crappp. and so sorrykf. really sorry. hahahahaha.

balls of fury after with the noob! okay. i was just so glad i caught that movie la. just needed a good laugh after everything that's been happening. =D

WMAN must go on! okay. i'm feeling patriotic.

FUCK.

2007-09-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

okay. time for updates.

so i've started working in the restaurant, awayyyy from the mooncakes. they're scary i swear. i even dreamt about mooncakes after one day i worked for 12 hours selling.. mooncakes. working in the restaurant is damn fun please. time passes so fast. but it's also damn tiring dammit. and my back sometimes gives way, and i hope it doesn't this friday. ughh.

and the outings with wenlin and calvin never seem to get boring at all. WMAN yea? or is it WANM? oh well. both ways, you know i love you both. and khai disappeared from us. =(

and i've been feeling rather weird these days. so many happy things, and so many not happy things. it's like.. arghhh. but then again, oh wells.

and i regret putting effort in everything i had associated to it. the more effort i put, the more i feel like it's just wasted. i rather put effort in other things that will make me happy, rather than see everything go crashing down. and i won't be surprised if we really go all the way down. it's just so predictable looking at it now. and i wished school never ever bothered to sponsor, cos it really has proved the negativity of it all. so what if ones got more talent, so what if one's got more skills. i know it is for the better, but somehow, when one's got no attitude, that is when you see everything fall apart. when one's got no patience, no character, then is when everything bad comes about. and people will break apart, fall apart and quit. i wished the world was happy. i wished the world had only one character. i wished the world had peace. and we'll excel, and make everyone proud. and we'll move on as ONE. to greater heights as ONE. my heart just ached by what my two eyes saw. it ached at what my brain told me it was. it just ached. and it is still falling apart now. i dunno the reasons why, i jus don't. apologies come, but it doesn't make problems and feelings fade just like that. it takes time.

look back on the red top they had for long, and look hard at the word 'ONE'. it will give us the meaning of the word ONE, which means existing, acting, or considered as a single unit, of the same or having a single kind, nature, or condition.

we'll make it through, and we'll fight, only this time, harder.

and because you care, you bother, you confide. you make my heart smile like it never did before. <3

thoughts.

2007-09-20T01:32:00.000+08:00

i was just blog hopping, and i read one of the posts my friends wrote. and i couldn't help thinking about how something similar happened to me, just a year ago.

i just can't stop thinking about how we met. i was at valerie's, completing the big gigantic banner that we slogged our asses off that night, just to make sure that it could be hung up the next day in school. how you msged me to push me on, despite how sleepy i was. and i still remember you told me you wanted to charge your phone, and you said 'just go on okay. i'm sure you'll complete it. i'll tell you when my phone is charged so you can call.' and valerie was so hungry she went to cook maggi, and i called, and we talked for at least 2 hours.

you waited patiently for me the next day, and we went to town. walked around, we went to tiasa, and i remember the look on someone's face. surprised? i guess. and then, we caught harry potter. and how we passed time, with me complaining about your fetish for cars. about you pressing my shoulders down in an attempt to get me shorter. how you held my hand in the movie, how you leaned over to cover me with warmth cos i didn't bring my jacket. how i felt so comfortable in your arms.

it was all great. the feeling, the calls, the bus rides, the trips home, the ride on bus 17 from pasir ris to bedok and back. the trip to tiasa just to deliver a tall latte to wannie while she worked. the laughs. the jokes, the love that was shared.

and then, things started to get sour. how you got angry at me cos i wanted to go home instead of your place to say hi. how you got angry at me cos i did smth to you that you did to me. how you got angry at me for telling you to cool down when you were angry, how you got angry at me cos YOU, and i emphasize YOU, did not BOTHER to listen to what i had to say. how you fucking walked off and i bothered to chase because i cared. because you fucking injured your bloody leg during training. instead, you walked. persisted you were right. when i fucking wanted to explain, you didn't bother. and how, when you finally cooled down, tried to plant a kiss on my forehead. i fucking didn't feel anything from that cos i just wanted to leave you. because i know i didn't deserve to be treated that way.

and how you got angry at the slightest mention of my guy friends, when you could be going out and taking pictures and feeding your ex-gf, ignorant of my presence as your gf. how you started to think that i did not exist anymore, and come looking for me only when you needed company. you were not worth a single tear drop from me. and how you think ignoring me would get me fed up, it did not. i swear.

and so, you wanted your ex-gf back, i let you have her, you wanted the other girl, i let you have her. and when both are gone, you fucking come back to me? oh come on. i think you gotta drill that bloody brain of yours, cos farah's got a brain to think. and obviously i'm NOT falling for you again. and stop thinking that i am, just cos i care. because you're definitely not worth my time, effort and tears. now get that carved into that head of yours. and think about why she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she and me LEFT YOU. surely you've never thought of that yeah.

_____________________________________________

and i wish for one thing to happen between us. because life's worth it with you around. because you're the one who gets me high. because you're the one, who makes me feel like i'm on top of the world. your msgs, your concern, your words, your calls. i wanna love you, love you, love you.

WHOO!

2007-09-19T04:39:00.000+08:00

whoooo. training today was great great great. finally, at least something that would really get our asses on-the-go. i mean, really. for a change.. fast paced plays, fast paced movements. andandand AFIQAH was soooooo sweet please dammit. =D

polite in less than a month. so fast okayyy.

i'm waiting for khai to come online while waiting for food to digest. i feeeeel SUPER full now. i don't know why. all i had was the usual size of lormaikai. ARGH. must be the bread i ate on the way home from training ytd.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. i just don't know what to say. work from 10-8 later. she better not make me ______________. i swear i'll bite.

sweet, perfect, love. YYOUU.

and when this moment arrives.

2007-09-18T13:29:00.000+08:00

skyping with khai, haha and ryan alllllll night just rocks la. from bingo, to crazy ass japanese game shows, got me wide awake till 6 this morning. HOHO. and i can't get back to sleep at 12pm. argh.

training later at 6! =) i'm loving the sport yes!

so i've got work, trainings and more work and more trainings. i'll be gone by holiday end. haahhhhhh.

don't take too long to say i love you
cos time has a habit of slipping away
and out on the clear blue sky
when lightning strikes on a sunny day
just take me in and keep me from the rain

and the words that seem so hard to say
come out when you've gone away
stay a little while and hear me say

that i want you here tonight
and i need you by my side
for just one more moment..
just one more moment with youu.

the hugs, the surprises, the late night chats, the sugar coated words. you just make me feel so special, so special, so special.. <3

all smiles.

2007-09-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

so work was super great. damnn funny jokes cracked, laughed almost all the 4 hours. short-term memory, bad-memory, clumsiness, everything. i love those siblings. hahaas.

physical tmr, and no work for a weeeeeek! hehe.

and you appeared! honestly didn't expect anything, thought you really didn't know the place. somehow, i feel like i'm the luckiest girl on earth. my craving for auntie anne's just arrived, and soon after, you arrived with it. you're just one special person that i've ever met. =))

HAPPY.

2007-09-15T23:25:00.000+08:00

so i couldn't fall asleep last night. and thanks to the wonderful inventors of skype, i talked to khai till it was time to eat breakfast after wenlin and calvin left. haha. and that wasss.. 0430h. that left me kinda zombie-ish for the rest of the day, but it's okay. was sooo fun. and i keep thinking about the video of the guy who broke his leg that khai sent me. ICKY.

wolves united fought hard today, and i feel sooo proud to be part of tp floorball. i think i've mentioned it a few times before right? hahaa. oh well. i just love them. continue fighting! =D

work was so funnnnn. okay. well, it was jsut satisfying to sell sooooo many mooncakes just in that short period of 4 hours. =) and yen squished my middle finger in between the joint of the two sliding doors of the fridge (go figure). but still, OUCH. i was just so stunned, but i started laughing in the end. heh heh.

work tmr at century sq! yaynessssss. =)))))

and it's things like what you did, that keeps me going. it's things like these that make me feel special. <3

=)

2007-09-15T01:42:00.000+08:00

ratatouille the second time was still as good as the last one. oh well. i just love that show la. and the company too! =)

so the weekend is finaly here. but im working on both days, and monday i'm going back to vivo. booo. and thre's til floorball to think about. it's scary la. i think i'm more busy during the holidays than school days. hoho. i hope i survive though.

and skype sessions with wenlin, khai and calvin are just so nice. they get me perked up at night, and i end up not having enough sleep. but it's okay. WMAN!

my blog entries are all becoming random entries la. i've not been inspired by anything. danggg. ahhh. wolves against singapore schools tmr. i hope it turns out good. i love them. ALOT. =))

and i bought mooncakes from willie today and he gave me that weird look because i was buying those liquor-based ones. hehe. he's damn funny please.. sunday sunday! can't wait.

i miss floorball. i wanna break fast with the gang again. makes me happy. =D

and you make me go LALA! got me higher than high. sweetestthing. <3

my week.

2007-09-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

work. floorball. physical. friendly match. work. floorball, work. work. - my week, this weekkk. super tired, my muscles are aching, my feet are breaking. hahaa. oh well. money yo!

sohe fasting month has started. HOHO. selling mooncakes and working in a restaurant is definitely not gonna help man. but it's okayyy.

argh.. POL-ITE games in a month! hopefully i get in. stick work=BAD. arghh. i'm just ranting like everything and anything i can think of now. super tired.

friendly today was great great great! =) had so much fun. was shaky at first, but then finally got it back. this is badddd. i wanna train train train.

and i'm going mad okayyy. oh oh oh. exam results were okay! just so glad i passed. considering all the slacking and the crazy study sessions we all had. i still love those guys, and a girl. hahahaha. =))

and when my phone rings, and your name appears, that's when my heart flutters. feeling's great, msg's great, conversations' great. i jsut don't know what to say about how i feel. cos it's just a feeling that gets me high all day long. and i can't believe i sprinted on the track when they called your name. and i row my boat far far away, to a place called LOVE. <3

=)

2007-09-09T23:14:00.000+08:00

and seeing you today totally made my day. <3

'you know, if i mean alot to you, you're a special girl that i've met in my life. honest.' after i read this, you mean the world to me. =))

workworkwork.

2007-09-09T18:47:00.000+08:00

past few days was just great. spent time with wenlin and the rest, i think i'm seeing them everyday omg. haha. but it's okay. =)

wenlin, everything's gonna end for you yeah? hang in there. one more day! =))

oh oh oh. pesta was sooo great yes! u-19 on wed and thurs, and i dropped by today to catch the semi's and finals for the open. tp girls did great, and they were jsut hard on luck. but it's okay. thee's still next year yeah. and the guys matches were damn cool. i think we should all go with a motive to just have fun, and end up being the top 4 teams. the guys lost by a goal in the semis, and we all know what was going on. thanks to what happened, last goal was let in like.. a few seconds before time. but nevertheless, tp guys are still winners, somehow.

and i thank god for bringing me thoughts of moving clubs a few years back.. hmmm.

past few days, i was doing...

THIS.

and so. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALVIN! =D finally 19, and still as hilarious as ever. WMAN! =)

im so darkkk! hoho. work from 9.30am to 10pm, selling mooncakes tmr. oh god.

2007-09-05T00:20:00.000+08:00

so i got the job at Bakerzin. went for some interview which wasn't really an interview at vivo. thanksssss cal for accompanying me allll the wayyy mannn. anyway, i know you had nothing to do anywaysssss. hoho. hokkien mee was great though.

met up with sunny to pass time and all. wenlin went to get her new blade. had fun la. i feel sooooo super free after the exams. but starting next week, it's work and trainings for me. i hope i can survive. kinda excited for work though. i dunno why!

got my black pants and stuff today. caught ratatouilleeeeeee! super duper nice show. no wonder the critics gave them 5/5 stars man. i totally agree with them. almost cried. and i like their cute noses dammit. they're like... CUTE. hahaas.

ahh. pesta tmr. =)

i love you.

2007-09-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

never been this happy in my life. never felt so cared about, and so concerned about. it's just this feeling that keeps me going everyday. looking at your msgs makes this even better. i don't know. i'm pretty sure i'm happy. i just want you to be.

when i said i'll make you happy one day, i meant it, alot. when i told you how i can't wait to see you again, i meant it. when i told you i'd make sure you're not late for work, i meant it, and i'll try to do it. when i told you you played well, i meant it, and i admire you. when i said you looked cute, i meant it. when i said you're nice, i meant it.

and your replies make me fly, everytime. and i think it's just you. i rmb how it all started, and i didn't expect it to continue. but it did, and i'll never ever regret it. cos you're worth it. SMILES. =)

2007-09-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

wanted to tan, got to tan, tanned, and becamed tanned. HAPPY. i love my tan. and i asked ham and damian just now. and they thought i say tan lines instead of tan nice. ugh. super funny people.

i loved the high tides, i loved the wind, i loved the gossips, i loved the weather predictions, and i jsut loved everything about yesterday. love you babee. =)

watch wolves and gazelles match just now. would say they were matches that were played well. ahh. we can do it! <3 shall update sometime later! tiredd....

and just your company over the phone can get me perked up for the whole day. just feels good to know that you're actually around.. those words...... =D

SUSHI, STARBUCKS, FRIENDS.

2007-08-31T01:28:00.000+08:00

so todayyyyyy wasssss WHOO. okay. just managed to finally settle down with the rest to get high, and talk and talk and talk. =)

met jasmine for lunch! sushi buffet at the restaurant behind TSH. we were there like at 1.45pm but buffet only started at 2.30pm. soo.. with nth to do, we went to the park behind, we went to the swimming complex to pass time.

had our buffet, talked, laughed. and that woman wanted to puke okay. RARRRRR. i was still going strong luh. okay. maybe not. struggled to finish the food that we ordered and yeah. I FINISHED IT ALONE. ughhhhh. hahaha. that womann.

met calvin and wenlin and ryan for starbucks. had fun la. i think i was too rough. sorry ryan. =( had bagel! and green tea frapppppp! hahaas. and yeah. had fun. =D

we headed to TSH to look at sticks. whoooo. i think i wanna get the stick bag. i dunno. got my headbandd too. yaynessss.

i feeeel supperrrrr freee nowww. it's been a longgg time since i watchedd tvvv.. oh wells. ryan's place with the others tmrr. and maybe a moviee! =)

and the day was great with your company. my eyecandy, my coffee. life's never been better. =)

2007-08-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

and soo. exam's over, school's out. 7 weeks of CRAZINESS YO!!

the papers were okay. shan't talk about it though. just wait for results mannnn. and i know i couldn't have done it without my motivation. =)

sooo. the time after the exam was just spent, slacking, going out, spending time with friends and then just wasting time. it's like.. finally everything's over. can get started on things i wanna do.. floorball like 24/7, and all. whoooooo! revamp my room, and lalala. SHOPPING YO.

i'm feeling soooo random now. i misssssssss everyone so suddenly. HOHO. trainings, please start again............

and the thought of you just makes me smile. it's just the person you are. can't waittt. <3

those eyes.

2007-08-26T20:02:00.000+08:00

today's taka open was FUN! though we didn't win, it was worth the experience playing in the open category. kinda scary. and i started seeing people i didn't see for quite awhile. made my day really. and thanks to sam, dawn and yana. could've have done it without you guys. <33

and then, just slacked. watched some matches, got excited, and just smiled the whole day. i was going crazyyyyy. and gotta say sorry to the rest for not joining you at east coast in the end. after exams k?

examsssss end in 3 days! i'm gonna gooo wild wild wild wild after that. god knows yo! WMAN's gonna go LALA!

seeing you today might have been the highlight of my day. at such an early hour in the morning, till the very end of the whol event, just made things better. loved the way you smiled, loved the way you talked, loved that 'peace' sign, loved everything about you. i wanna see you sooooon. =DD

floorball.

2007-08-26T00:53:00.000+08:00

so today was spent orchard. watched the 3-on-3 matches. mummy bought be a pair of pappilio. hoho! met khai, an, calv and wenlin. was like.. more to awaiting the under-19 girls matches la. and we talked, laughed and all. ahh. loved it. WMAN once again. =)

coffee club after that. had baked spag and the wenlin had sandwich which was soooo nice and calv had fish and chips. had fondue after! yummsss laaa.

mrt back with calvin after that, and just ranted everything out. talked abt anything. hoo. made me feel better! syafiq made me meet him, and i was glad i did. had fun. finally catching up after his long disappearance due to ns. he's still sooooo.. erm. handsome. hahaa.

don't fucking piss me off at such a hour in the night. anyone, just anyone. bring me some b&j's.

you totally made my day today. it's just you. i don't know what to say. you just make me smile. every minute of the day.

and as someone said, 'i prayed for happiness, and you came along.' so true. so similar to what's happening. ilu. <3

the clique.

2007-08-23T09:03:00.001+08:00

so yesterday was crazy. studied with isha, and she got all high after a crunch ice cream. hoho. khai and calvin joined us later, and an came after the dentist. studied after that, and went to bowl yo! totally fun. khai said it's like.. work hard and play hard.

i love the safra lanes. they're like.. quality. and so. first round, totally great. 5 strikes and end score of 168. haha. they were totally cursing me damn. and second round jsut went bonkers. hahaa. my arm muscles just went to sleep.

went over to whitesands to wait for calvin, and then we droveeeeee to woodlands to eat. economical food. heh heh. was darn funny in the car. we took a wrong turn at seletar and we ended up a the entrance again. hahahaha.

and on the way back, there were those bangladeshi workers cycling on the road. calvin was TRYING to scare them by horning. and then khai wanted to msg farhan abt the horning thing, and ended sending to calvin. it went like.. 'that calvin damn idiot la..' it was hilariousssssss looking at the quarrel as sayangs. but they still love each other dammit.

study again today, chionging session. i hope i can finishhhhh.

peekturesssssss...

us, without an, at the bowling alley.

the retardation on all of our faces.

picture perfecttt. i miss wenlin. lol.

you're my motivation. can't wait for the exams to be over. when we finally meet. eyecandyyy . =)

don't know why.

2007-08-21T09:32:00.000+08:00

so study was so-called productive la. jokes and gossips, but still. worth the time. lovely friends.

night out for a few hours was great too. looveeeeeee the hotdog buns. heh heh. wenlin got all mad and crazy, cos me and cal kept disturbing her. whoooo! and i wanna start inline hockey i swear. cool shit. i'm gonna pull jenmark in. hoho!

and i had a weird dream last night. about everyone whom i studied with, being in relationships, and we lasted till we were damnnnnn old. i mean the friendship. hoho. i hope so though. lovelyyy.

off to study now with the usualssssss. ITASSS.

and when i think of you, i can't help but smile. the night was awesome. beyond words can ever describe. thankful.

and when 4 people get together, we get high.

2007-08-19T12:13:00.000+08:00

and farah's happy, because she had the time of her life on 2 consecutive days. very special thanks to the people that were around! whoo!

soo.. on friday, it was watch the fireworks day. met up with rayner, sunny, wenlin, huili, ryan and calvin. was studying in school, then went off to marina square to meet huili. i was on this smelling thing that made me wanna smell everything there was. haha. ok. not everything.

we went to the arcade, and huili queued up for donuts without telling us! rarr. so plans to go to my mummy's office to watch didn't work out, and we went outside marina square instead. oh well. had a good view, except a stupid tree was blocking us. HOHO.

but it was all great, with the laughs, jokes and more. but i had to go off early because of my tummy. stupid diarrhoea is still around. oh well. so they walked me to where my mum was picking me up, and yeahh. so sweet. =))

the crazy group of us who went, without sunny. =D

and on saturday, was sooooo difficut getting up. but i had no choice. went for pesta sukan matches, would say i was very happy with the performance la. beat ntu storm, and lost quite a small goal diffeence with LMFC. wenlin and calvin came to watch! yayy. love you guys. khai and farhan came like.. damn late. haha. but it's ok. watched other matches, slacked and decided where to go. and calvin came up with a brilliant idea to bring the car out. hahaas. and sooo. all of us went home, and wated for calvin.

i must say he got ready pretty fast, and picked khai and i up, and then wenlin. the boxers joke was funny. i was really getting high la. hahaa. we just basically talked and talked and talked. and i must say calvin and khai found love in each other la. damn funny.

so we were stuck in jams, stuck in alot of things. anticipating the start of the fireworks. and suddenly, when we turned around, it started! hahaa. we chionged to mount faber's peak to get a glimpse of it. nice la. haha. and calvin was reallly getting crazy. and so did me and wenlin. sticking our heads out of the window and stuff. oh well. mount faber was crowded, or rather packed with cars, so we decided to drive into sentosa.

khai took over to drive, and it was damnnnnnnnnnn crazyyy. he was like... going super uber slow when it was minor humps, and then ging fast when it was those kinda bigger humps. haha. no sense of differentiation khai..

hho. the amatuer on the steering wheel!

then we got all crazy, walked to the scary gay coloured merlion, then at the dragon thingy, and then to siloso, where calvin really really started getting crazy, and then to cafe del mar. they were having an event, so many people were around, but whoo. we still remained as crazy. took quite a number of pictures, joked, laughed. and laughed. and laughed at the sight of khai and calvin becoming gay. haha. they're just, funny. like. 'sayang! let's take a peekkktureee!' hahaha. i just love the night life. okay. but maybe we should start going in the day. hahaha. so we can see the beaches!

the gay couple, in action.

was getting late, and so we decided to move off to jalan kayu for prata! hoho. i fell asleep in the car, like totally la. was so tired from the games dammit. woke up though, like.. at the sight of prata which was also dinner. hahaha. my stomac was once again... like.. a washing machine that i couldn't finish my prata. rarr. its okay. shall go there again when my tummy gets better.

sent khai back, and we got lost. i fell asleep again reading signboards. haha. thank god wenlin could hold on. ahhh. after we sent wenlin off, we got lost again! went round and round! was so afraid calvin would fall asleep driving, but lucky he didn't. oh well. the petrol kiosk was still like.. pretty full. at an early hour of 0145h. lol.

so i got home. washed up, and fell asleep. super tired. thanks to calvin for driving us alll around, and thanks to the sweetest wenlin, and superrrrrr funny khai for the day. really made my day, and yeah. more to come guys! loveeesssssss.

i bend down lowwwww. =P

us! perspiRATING! hoho.

us in the carrrrrr! =D

thanks for the night, all of youuuuu!

and that goal i scored during the day, is just for you. never expected the goal, and i thought of you the moment i scored. and somehow, it made me happy. <3

and soo. heart shapess. love.

2007-08-17T23:27:00.001+08:00

so the fireworks was great. company was great. just everything.

tooooo tired and drowsy to give details now. shall do it next time! pesta tmr at rp yo!

i saw that heart upon the fireworks. i carved our names on it and prayed. hugsandmisses. <3

disappointment, exactly as i thought. maybe i'm still not important.

whyyy.

2007-08-16T21:17:00.000+08:00

so today, my diarrhoea and vomiting came back. walked in and out of class, and held my tummy. hurt so much.. ahhh. met khai and went to sports hall. my god. the tables and chairs made me terrified really. one week!

went to the library, studied a chapter of econs, and then went to eateat laughlaugh talktalk with khai, an and wennnlinnn! had fun luhhhh. sooo.. yeah. didn't make it to training though. was feeling soooo sick la..

study time! i have to.. =(

FIREWORKS TMRRRRR!

oh oh! and some funny thing i responded to farhan in the library!
Farhan: it's been a long time since i fell for someone..
Me: then you fall down now in front of us. then you'll be falling for us! =D
and wenlin started laughing. me, i couldn't stop. as usual. hehhh.

why does tonight have to end? or maybe the evening? the sight of everything made me think. i predicted that it would change, and true enough, it did. oh well. just breaks my heart. =(

you made my day today. in every single little way. i don't know. it's just you. falling faster each day. <3

hmmm.

2007-08-15T00:10:00.000+08:00

thinking about the littlest things i do for you. <3

commskills presentation tmr, floorball training at night. still with the headaches. sighhs.

i bought the limited edition adidas watch HOHO. it's black and gold YO!

smiless.

2007-08-13T19:09:00.000+08:00

i fell sick yesterday. and didn't go to school today. food poisoning, damn. think it's the seafood during steamboat the other day. was puking and shitting non stop ytd. vomiting and diarrhoea la.. damn. oh well. i'm okay now. just sooooo super duper drowsy damn.

mummt dearest took off today thank god. could have died without her around. and there's training tmr, which i wanna go to. shall think about it.

to the sweetest person who brought me porridge that was soooo uber delicious despite my no appetite, and my spoilt taste buds due to my medication, it was soooo sweet. appreciate it really. lovesssss. <3

and to you, my BFF.

2007-08-12T01:05:00.000+08:00

so today was a day of fun, laughter and more fun.

got to school to watch the matches, and then, STEAMBOAT at marinaaaaaa! okay. it was hell fun. we got there. and ho ho. lucky thing we got tables for 15 people. and everybody was soooo excited, and when i looked around, i realised we were the only tables that had everyone standing. damnnn funny pleasee.

wanie and myra came after awhile,and wanie started cooking! whoo! hahaa. her crab, her prawns. WHOO! super good. then we started going crazy, laughing and yeahh. ate ice cream, then went over to the bowling alley. we laughed again, like elvi getting a strike for me but got longkangs for janice and pris. hehh. got back, and here i am. whoo.

his blog entries are getting as emo as mine.. =(

and so. we finally meet. i don't know. it honestly hurts to see you like.. down, and not smiling. it's like.. looking at something that doesnt appeal to me at all. sigh. what happened to the past? really missing it. really.. i wanna see you smile. and i don't ever wanna see you pissed and angry, i don't ever wanna see you feeling down, and i don't ever wanna see you upset. because, you've gotta smile and tell everyone you're strong. because, deep down somewhere, i know you are..

it's you i'm thinking about. you've touched me. really. =)

2007-08-09T22:03:00.000+08:00

and so. rush hour 3 with the rest was just.. GREAT. it was a movie worth waking up for, a movie worth a great time spent with my friends. ahh. finally. a break from presentations, projects and the long crazy wednesday.

so it was lunch at ikea after the movie. it was hell crowded, my gosh. and it was a miracle the guys managed to find seats for the 8 of us. food was great. yay. and ryan was being irritating.

jasmine, wenlin and i slacked at calvin's place after, watched wedding crashers and played with his super cute dog. haha. superrrrr cute. and his house had nice chocolates. there was one that was coated with dark choc powder, which was bitter, but the choc was sweeet. and then his sister's bf went like.. 'that is what love is like..' hoho. kinda truee.

got home and spent time with mummy. told her about floorball, and what's been happening in my life. heh heh. great to have heart to heart talks once in awhile yeah? =)

i dunno how to describe this feeling. it's like, i feel alot when i'm around you, but at the same time, i feel i'm stopping myself from falling from you. maybe it's just the nice and kind character you portray whenever i see you, the sweet person that you are. i dunno. i just wanna find out what i'm really feeling, i just do. i don't know. you've really touched my heart, in many ways i could ever imagine. ahh. let me tell you.. <3

=(

2007-08-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

friendly against nyp yesterday went okay i guess. felt glad playing with afiqah too! my prata in the morning-er! well loved the play ups, the communication, just everything. felt like i was playing in skools though. hehh.

rushed home after that and stared into my bcs notes. likeee. oh god. so many things to study, and i still had intht presentation to think about. oh god. but then, at 2am, i gave up and just went to sleep.

shan't talk about the presentation. bcs was fine though! =D

and so, i saw the opposite of what you claimed AGAIN. i just don't know what i need to. seems that everything is wrong here. goddd. help me. please..

and i saw you again. only with someone else. i saw you glance, i saw you turn. you knew i was around. what happened to late night talks? oh gosh. imissyouu. really wished i had a chance to talk to you just now. if only..

so the library's great.

2007-08-06T19:40:00.000+08:00

so school started at 1 today. almost fell asleep in commskills, couldn't think i swear. was just thinking about what happened during lunch, plus the flu and headaches didn't make things any better. oh wells.

met afiqah to study, managed to rant on and on about things bothering me. really made me feel better. =) khai, farhan and their friend, kira came shortly after. laughed and yeah, cheered me up. was assured nothing was wrong though.

more talks with khai and afiqah, yayy. back home, tutorials, presentation and tests to worry about. oh godddd.

friendly against nyp tmr yo!

you have me back something i thought i'd lost - feelings i thought i'd never feel again. somehow, you saw through all the walls i'd built around my heart and helped me trust enough to let this feeling in. and i just wanna say thank you for being so patient and good to me in every way - for all the things you do that make me feel like the most special person - for being you and for helping me believe that there are still nice and sweet people around.. you. =)

CHEER UP, BFF. =D

2007-08-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

so i've caught the flu virus. and my mum said i'm just very stressed up. very confused over everything. i think she's right though. i was at home when i started sneezing. oh wells.

i'm so screwed. so many things to do. so little time. =( and when my projects were finally over, i jsut felt everything coming in. like the emotions and feelings i thought i overcame. gosh. i wanna stop all these. really.

i.. just don't know what to say.

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

You would still have my heart..

it had been long since i played this song on the piano. and today, i did it again. couldnt hold those tears for long though. it's as though i've known you for longgg.

tears.

2007-08-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

read an email from kelly, and i cried. made me think and think. made me fall back into the situation i THOUGHT i let go off already. man. the questions asked in the email was exactly the things i was thinking about just a day ago.

i hate myself.

one chance to prove. gotta do it, oh yes i have to.

and the world's turning back.

2007-08-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

prata in the morning with afiqah was greatgreatgreat. we talked about anything under the sun and laughed about anything in the sun. was happy. and she was high la. i swear. =)

so we were early. got to school at 930. goshness. played an hour of fb with leslie, before we were given the court. dammit. heart break at the sound of my blade go *@^(*(!@ on the super rough grounds. =)

game against pinkies for the girls. pretty good job done, pity that last 10 sec goal. but you guys did it. managed to show that *itch up there what tp is really made of. oh wells. hard luck though, but we'll do it for the other matches yah. <3

mixed feelings, a few smiles, a few chats and that's it. never been this quiet really. i don't know. there's just something that's stopping me. =(( and when i stoned today, that's when i know i'm thinking about it. sighh.

heart candy, really. don't know how else i can describe you.

2007-08-03T22:04:00.000+08:00

so the projects are finally cleared. sorry to those i scared just now. was just tired, and wanted to finish it and go home. the pounding headaches made it worst too.well, least it's done now.

wolves game tmr. keeping them in my prayers. they'll do it, oh they will. =)

so i thought i was strong. maybe not. swollen eyes, it came true. hmmm. could have been i was too occupied to think. but now, reality seems to have struck. ho ho. dead tired, but can't seem to fall asleep. ah. things might never be like what it was just days ago.. and that's what haunts me.

thanks to matt, khai, ryan, huili, afiqah, kafoong, raudah and many others who pushed me on. supporting me on my views and making me feel better, most importantly, SMILE. life's never been better. =D

fairytale, fairytale indeed.

youu..

2007-08-03T02:12:00.000+08:00

2:12am in the morning. still up doing intht with zihui and renie. where are the rest? damn.

at least khai was around for awhile to crack stupid lines and make me smile for abit. i wish humans didn't have to sleep, so people likw khai would be around to make me laughlaugh smilesmile all day. and huili two. why go gorillas have big nostrils? my godddddd. cos they have big fingers. almost died. and what goes oh oh oh? a santa walking backwards. haha. i just love that girl la.

bad headaches, exhausted body. i need my sleep. i really do.

and i don't know why i ended up scribbling your name all over my research papers. maybe i'm missing you. i mean, the past. yes yes. that's it. not the same no more.

BFF is gone.

2007-08-02T11:46:00.000+08:00

down. drained. exhausted. depressed. tired lungs.swollen eyes.

it sucks to feel this way. one whole night man. oh someone get me chocolate. like.. kinder bueno. they make me smile. it's been proven okay.

on a lighter note, daddy's been making me smile. he cracks jokes like.. okay. i can't think of any now. gosh. and khai's crazy. i hope he'll pass his TP next friday. hinthint. =D

it's all about you. smileyo!

2007-08-01T09:05:00.000+08:00

i was blog hopping, and came across this video on a friend's friend's blog. it was about a girl who fell for a guy, and te guy ended up leaving her. i mean, i don't wanna get all emo now, but i dunno. i just don't know why i ended up in tears. i would say i know that i am not in any position close to the one in the video, but it's just that somehow, we're all similar.

because i'm a girl, i can't help but feel the heartbreak the girl in the video is facing. the lyrics too, just brought myself to think. to think if i am doing too much, without even noticing that i have. whether i am affected by this whole situation tht i'm facing. i don't know. i may seem all hapy and jovial all the time, but really. there is more to me than what i appear to be. i get home often to an empty house, not even a person, a sibling home to laugh with. i end up just staring out of my window, and reading msgs from my dearests who have been pushing me on. i know that life has more ot offer than what i am already getting. i don't know why my heart wrenches at the thought of someone. i can't help but feel this way.

i was talking to a friend, and then she realised it was a whole rebel situation from my last experience. i thought it was true, but i realised that i could stand strong upon my decisions and tell her that i know it isn't. somehow, when i think and think again, i know that this feeling is one feeling i've never felt before. i don't exactly know how to describe this though. oh well..

and then to think about the times in school, the times when i actually see everything. the feeling just sucks. i don't like empty promises to be made, especially to me. i just freaking hate it. and i hate to be told to not think over small matter, because i really care. i just wish someone would hear me out. not as if i'm not now, but i dunno. it's just this feeling i'm facing that i feel this way. i wake up feeling all down and gloomy. i wake up and realise how i'm thinking about it every moment of my life. i dunno. somehow, everything relates back to you. i don't know why.

he'll still be my motivation, my cheer upper, my sweet friend and my bff. well, i hope so that is. circumstances, they suck. =(

2007-07-30T20:05:00.000+08:00

and this post is for you.

i know i may not be the one who can cheer you up, cheer you on and make you smile. i know i may not be the one who could just be anythig you need in your life. cos i can see very clearly where you're heading to. this friendship means alot to me, and i have no intention at all to ruin it, no matter what happens. i dunno. it's just that sometimes things happen so suddenly that i am taken aback by everything. and all i need you to is to stay happy.

i know i've been making you worry. and i made you angry too. but are the reasons for these really true? i dunno. things have been happening to me, since i knew you. but then again, i enjoy the times i have with you, all the stupid and funny things that happen, the ones that make me laugh till i forget every single negative thing in my life. maybe it's just you, maybe not. but as i think again, as i look into the friendship, i can't help but let go tears that were never intended by me to come out. it's as if i've known you for long, to feel this way about making you feel bad.

i often think about what i ever want in life. if it was all about happiness, i would have been happy. it's just that it's all happening too suddenly. promises made, promises that i try to keep. but somehow, circumstances come and go, that make it impossible to fulfil everything i've said. but i try hard, i try hard. and it has come to a point, where everything said matters. i don't like this feeling, i really don't. i don't wanna feel upset, i don't wanna be worried. i just want to live this whole thing happily.

because i know, that somehow, you're the one who has made me happy. very happy indeed. you're the cause of all my smiles these days. every little thing that happens is kept locked inside my heart. because it'll stay there forever, as memories that i'll never forget. and i'm sure i won't. you're just too nice to let go.

and honestly, i don't want things that happened to affect things between us. i don't know what to say. i don't know what i can possibly be for you. and i don't ever wanna know that you're crying. i don't ever wanna know that you're down. cos from now on, i never ever wanna make you worry. i just wanna see you happy, i wanna see you smile you heart out. there are really more to life than what you are thinking about. and i don't want it to seem that it's this thing i have for you that i have to say all those. it is, really, honestly, out of this friendship and care that these words are coming out.

and to all the nicest things you've done to make me smile, thanks.. alot. you're just too precious.

keeping you in my everyday prayers.

youuuu.

2007-07-29T20:40:00.000+08:00

so i didn't sleep last night, and i'm not gonna sleep again tonight. i need help. i need it. i thought i did.

went down to rp to watch the guys match. loved the look on farhan's face when he saw me there. haha. it was like. EH! okay ya. that kind. cheered them on, nic goals scored by many, and a sweet victory for wolves fort.

went to eat with the crazypersonwhokeepslaughing at causeway point. had lotsa fun, finding out stuff, emoing for split seconds, laughing for split seconds, and GOSSIPS. haha. okay. it was funny. and smth happened in the cavana restaurant. stupid luhhh! ok. lucky i was smart enough huh. whoo. was really tired, so decided to head home.

bus rides home, great company, great day. =D
maybe somehow, you just know what i want. it's just that we do not wanna face it, that we end up this way. maybe its the way it really is. maybe there is nothing i can do to make it change. as long as you're happy, i'll try to be happy. today was just unforgettable. =) surprise surprise today. hoped you were. =)
no goals today, next week yahhh? =))

the stupid person who never stops laughing at all the stupid things i do. =)

morningsss.

2007-07-29T05:14:00.000+08:00

it's 5.15am and i'm still up, doing projects with dear zihui. dreamweaver just gave up on me, but i'm not gonna give up on it. oh god, please tell me what's wrong. =(

and zihui let me listen to a song just now. same script different cast. super sad song.

This is a retake of my life.
I was his star for many nights.
Now the roles have changed,
And you're the leading lady in his life.

don't know how i should say this. but.. i don't know. think it applies? oh wells.

and then, i'm thinking of what you said earlier to make me go on. the whole night, knowing everyone's asleep, except me, and some others. well, it's quite a wonder how im quite awake right now. physically tired, mentally strong. because i think it's you, somehow, that keeps me going.

and surprise surprise tmr. i hope you'd be. hehh. =)))

and i'm gonna cheer my lungs out. because you're precious. <3

2007-07-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

tears that come out because of the things you do that touched me. tears that come out because .. i dunno. maybe it's you.

on a lighter note, wolves united did it again. i'm so prouddddddd. yayness. =))

soprecious.

big sighs.

2007-07-27T22:07:00.000+08:00

you left me a message, but you never came back. i can't leave this way, in absolute silence from you. cos i care, care so much for a special friend like you. my BFF, how could i not be worried. how would you expect me not to be worried? you know how precious this friendship is to me. you know how i can't live without thinking of how you are feeling.

reading your entry just made me sink. it made me flop. it made me think. it made me sick. cos you're affected. and this time, badly. i thought i yesterday was last, but no. it isn't. now you remain silent. and i'm dying to know how you feel.

with my heart wrenched tightly, i can't help but let go tears. you know how i feel, you know how i can't live this alone. and you know how i'll not leave you alone. i know you do. i hope you won't try to hide away from everything now. because, i don't wanna be left behind. i just don't.

i wanna be the one that can make you smile. i wanna be the one who'll help you through these times. i wanna be the one to make sure you forget this bad moments, i wanna be the one who'll turn them into happy thoughts. because you're precious, and i mean it.

=)

2007-07-27T16:19:00.001+08:00

slack slack slack in class class class. i'm a slacker.

you should have seen the joy on veron and ismail's faces when were done with rht project. it was.. like.. enlightenment kinda thing.

and i'm so random, so random cos i'm happy, so happy.

laughed, joked, laughed, laughed even louder. and then they go.. 'oh no. farah can't stop laughing now.' oh mann..

and the day went by great, even with a high temperature.

maybe it's you that keeps me going. TP TP TP. what if i never got into TP? would i ever have gotten that chance to know you, know you? i don't think so. maybe it's all planned. for the things that are happening now, BFF, i'm feeling treasured. =) hugggssssssss.

late nights. without you.

2007-07-27T01:42:00.000+08:00

time check: 0142h. you're soundly asleep, trying to get rid of that flu. while i'm working my ass off at this project. couldn't help but think about what happened just now. it seems that everytime we talk, we somehow drift to that topic. oh well, all i ever need now is.. hmmm. i don't even know. i wanna sleep i really want to.

temperature check: 40.2 degrees celsius. it's going down, it's going down. i wanna go to school tmr to support khai, and i wanna play floorball at skools too. i need to. my new baby's hot red, and it's in the stick bag, waiting to show me what it can. i sense it's getting impatient now, so yes yes. i need floorball.

3 Aug is all i want to make me happy once again. retail therapy with you? i think it'll work. =D

BFF, hugss. i know i've promised to smile, but somehow, i can't find anything to smile about. i will. soon. someday. somehow.

without you, my world is just one without any smiles, laughters or life that i'm known to have. imissyou.

=)

2007-07-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

i know i'll be trapped in this for awhile. but, i want to break free from it soon. because i want you to know and see that i'm smiling. and i hope i can. never expected much out of this, and my feelings came true. hit me hard, but never hit me harder. i want you to be happy with everything that's happening around you.

keep memories in your heart secured with a lock, throw away the key so that they'll be kept there forever. move on and look for other locks to secure more memories that are formed. wipe those tears, wipe those tears. i don't ever wanna find out about these water droplets that come out from you anymore. continue smiling the way you are now, and i will, i promise.

my BFF, my sweet prince, my love. =))

2007-07-26T21:24:00.000+08:00

i've been twisting and turning,
in a space that's too small.
i've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
you've been closing me in,
closing the space in my heart.
watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

well i can't explain why it's not enough,
cause i gave it all to you.
and if you leave me now,
oh just leave me now.
it's the better thing to do,
it's time to surrender,
it's been to long pretending.
theres no use in trying,
when the pieces dont fit anymore,
pieces dont fit here anymore.

you pulled me under,
i had to give in.
such a beautiful myth,
thats breaking my skin.
well i'll hide all the bruises,
i'll hide all the damage thats done.
but i show how i'm feeling
until all the feeling has gone.

ooh don't missunderstand,
how i feel.
cause i've tried, yes i've tried.
but still i don't know why,
no i dont know why.
i don't why.

random thoughts, random emo moments. maybe it ain't random at all. maybe it's all coming true. maybe.. and then when i think again, i ask why i've gotten myelf into all these. living a life in confusion and tears. asking myself why i fell into your world, and ended up getting trapped there. i wanna break free from all these set backs and smile to myself, like how i make OTHERS smile. it's just ironic how i could comfort others, except myself.

much time spent on you, none wasted at all. maybe it's a test.

you're still that sweet prince i've always thought you were, and you'll always be...

2007-07-26T15:04:00.000+08:00

and when school starts, that's when i smile.

two years, and many days more to go. it's when i wake up and remember, that i look forward to every minute in school. but no. i wouldn't wanna scare you. let's say, a good friendship. =)

nicest person that i have ever met. for a moment, for a period. i'd say, yes.

me&you.

2007-07-26T01:10:00.000+08:00

and when the night grew older,
you came by to talk to me,
to bring siles upon my face,
smiles that will never go away.

you found out,
you stayed,
you didn't go,
and you cared.

take care,
and good night.
keeping you in my prayers,
for good dreams and care.

as the sun rises,
i wish upon it.

my days has never been brighter with you around.
you're so sweet, so sweet.

hello world, goodbye projects.

2007-07-25T18:17:00.000+08:00

4 more to go! 4 more to go. and so. i don't know why i'm still in school stressing my ass of doing projects. head's spinning, feeling very nauseous. my friend's say it's because i kept spinning around in court ytd. sighh. it's definitely not that la. i can't even smile.

and then. dateline on friday, monday and 2 on wed. one more week to go. we all shall see what happens.

and i'm loving life now.

those sweet words you said to me, got itself captured and trapped in my heart. and it will stay there forever, because i wanna be given one chance to love you, with a love that will last forever. maybe you know, maybe you don't. but i know i gave away enough clues for you to find out. waiting waiting waiting. =))

PANCAKES IN THE MORNING MAKE ME FULL TILL DINNER!

you know who you are: pancakespancakespancakes+a little bit of gossips=day made to perfection. =D

loveee.

2007-07-25T00:58:00.000+08:00

i know i should be sleeping right now, but yah. i just felt i have to blog once more. feeling elated, happy, delighted, excited and everything.

sometimes when i don't get the things i want to get, i think about the reasons why. and then i realise, sometimes, things happen for a reason. and that exactly applies to this whole word called, love. okay. i'm gonna get all emo now, i don't knwo why. perhapes it's the wee hours of the morning, the ones which i am supposed to sleep through. heh.

i saw you one day, just like that. and all i wished for was for you to one day, just one day approach me to say hi. which, after 2 months, it happened. i don't know what i shall call this, but.. i really want you to know i never regret everything that i told you or talked to you about. instead, every word you say to me makes me smile. i found another person in you. a person i could pour everything to, a person that i could talk about literally everything under the sun. you'll look me into the eyes, those big and round ones, telling me that you wouldn't miss any word out while listening to me. perhaps, it's just the way you are. but this thing about you keeps making me smile and grin to myself. and i just can't find any words to explain how i'm feeling.

you are the one who pushes me on till the very end. the one who'll do anything in the name of this beautiful friendship, and i look forward to every other day of it in future. i don't know. i really don't. i think about it every minute of my life nowadays. my body tells me it's unhealthy, but my heart tells me that you are the one. i'll listen to my heart though. and you know why. i'm sure you do.

one wish, and this wish goes out to you. be mine...

and i regret not sleeping earlier. farhan will face a dead zombie tmr morning. =D

you..

2007-07-24T23:50:00.000+08:00

and so. INTHT in the morning, followed by boring RHT. gosh. i almost died. but farah was hardworking enough to do tutorials, so she didn't really fall asleep. it's scary how workable i can get. gosh. even my friends say so. whoo.

was contemplating if i should go for lecture. but ah. i was to tired. i dunno why. met farhan and khai in itas, together with gwen and ash. i must say i a thankful for the friends i get to know. they're my lovess.

floorball training, and i was so hyper. goshness. i started playing the moment i stepped into the sports hall. and yah. had fun, laughing. okay. this is gonna be another random post. because i dunno what else to talk about.

floorball training was great. ran my heart out on track, tried my best to stay focused. well, honestly, i think i've found my motivation. my motivation to play, to achieve and to excel. and i'm really hoping that someday, somehow, he'll be there for me, till forever. it's really funny how the saying is soooo true. like.. when you try so hard to get someone who you know is impossible to get, you end up not realising that the one who's really for you is just right in front of you. and i think that has came true for me.

and when you looked me into the eye, i couldn't help but to think about the happy times i'll be having with you. i really feel delighted whenever i think about how comfortably i can converse with you. because i know that somehow, you're the one who can really make me happy. seeing you today was just.. wow. never felt this elated and happy before, that i know. you're just one in a million. the one that i am confident will pick me up whenever i fall. give me one chance, a chance to spend a lifetime with you. =)

ITAS and GREEN TEA made my day. =D

tireddd.

2007-07-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

so i ended up skipping BCS with elspeth today. went over to my ouse to complete some parts of the project instead. found new meaning to the friendship. talked about everything and anything under the sun. like.. wow. couldn't help thinking about my past though. and i ended up falling asleep. too tired man. chasing datelines are scary. =(

i'm like.. sleepy. now. cos mummy woke me up from my precious nap just now to ask for my laptop's serial number. ughhh. but ok la. its for my own benefit. gonna change it to xo, cos the bloody vista's L-O-U-S-Y. it makes fel(my laptop) grow older, faster. =( i dun want!

whoo. long day ahead tmr. and yah. i hope i go for econs. very tired, can't take it anymore. and, i've been happy.

FARHAN, SMILE! =DD

and i found out something today. it kinda makes me laugh la. alot. but then again, SWEETEST words that can come out from a guy..
and people who hasnt realised how sweet you are, need to realise now. because you really are. i dunno why didn't know you earlier. and thank god i got to know you now, or i think i wouldve missed this chance of a lifetime to know. i think everyone in the world should be like you. because you're just one in a million. one that would go extra miles just to help a friend in it.