i was just blog hopping, and i read one of the posts my friends wrote. and i couldn't help thinking about how something similar happened to me, just a year ago.

i just can't stop thinking about how we met. i was at valerie's, completing the big gigantic banner that we slogged our asses off that night, just to make sure that it could be hung up the next day in school. how you msged me to push me on, despite how sleepy i was. and i still remember you told me you wanted to charge your phone, and you said 'just go on okay. i'm sure you'll complete it. i'll tell you when my phone is charged so you can call.' and valerie was so hungry she went to cook maggi, and i called, and we talked for at least 2 hours.

you waited patiently for me the next day, and we went to town. walked around, we went to tiasa, and i remember the look on someone's face. surprised? i guess. and then, we caught harry potter. and how we passed time, with me complaining about your fetish for cars. about you pressing my shoulders down in an attempt to get me shorter. how you held my hand in the movie, how you leaned over to cover me with warmth cos i didn't bring my jacket. how i felt so comfortable in your arms.

it was all great. the feeling, the calls, the bus rides, the trips home, the ride on bus 17 from pasir ris to bedok and back. the trip to tiasa just to deliver a tall latte to wannie while she worked. the laughs. the jokes, the love that was shared.

and then, things started to get sour. how you got angry at me cos i wanted to go home instead of your place to say hi. how you got angry at me cos i did smth to you that you did to me. how you got angry at me for telling you to cool down when you were angry, how you got angry at me cos YOU, and i emphasize YOU, did not BOTHER to listen to what i had to say. how you fucking walked off and i bothered to chase because i cared. because you fucking injured your bloody leg during training. instead, you walked. persisted you were right. when i fucking wanted to explain, you didn't bother. and how, when you finally cooled down, tried to plant a kiss on my forehead. i fucking didn't feel anything from that cos i just wanted to leave you. because i know i didn't deserve to be treated that way.

and how you got angry at the slightest mention of my guy friends, when you could be going out and taking pictures and feeding your ex-gf, ignorant of my presence as your gf. how you started to think that i did not exist anymore, and come looking for me only when you needed company. you were not worth a single tear drop from me. and how you think ignoring me would get me fed up, it did not. i swear.

and so, you wanted your ex-gf back, i let you have her, you wanted the other girl, i let you have her. and when both are gone, you fucking come back to me? oh come on. i think you gotta drill that bloody brain of yours, cos farah's got a brain to think. and obviously i'm NOT falling for you again. and stop thinking that i am, just cos i care. because you're definitely not worth my time, effort and tears. now get that carved into that head of yours. and think about why she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she and me LEFT YOU. surely you've never thought of that yeah.


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and i wish for one thing to happen between us. because life's worth it with you around. because you're the one who gets me high. because you're the one, who makes me feel like i'm on top of the world. your msgs, your concern, your words, your calls. i wanna love you, love you, love you.

sung at 1:32 AM
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