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Wednesday, May 23, 2007


so the gastric attacks came into action again. fcuk them. oh well. i will go to the doctor soon, i just will. SOON.

so training wasn't as bad as the previous weeks. had fun, yes i did. but the dy ended very badly, the whole fun thing in me just disappeared. i couldn't find anything to be happy about, but a least i had a few laughs over dinner.

i just stared out of the window blankly trying to figure out what i've been doing. the small little things that come unappreciated just makes me wonder. but then again, it's claimed that you do. i dunno how true it is, but i guess i'll just have to wait and see. and i've told you that it has been proven once, and it just got proven twice just a few hours ago. am i really behind whoever it was?

i was pissed, and i am still pissed. it was urgent. i waited patiently, i waited long. and in the end, God knows. it was bad, ahh. and the reason i had to wait was.. yeah. i felt bad, i felt like i had to do it myself. i don't think you should have even bothered to help after. i screamed for some reasons. everything in my heart was just clumped together. i had to get it out, i just had to. i don't know why it was happening to me. i felt like crying.

and i did. i shed tears that i wished i hadn't shared. i knew that i didn't want to, i don't want to cry over such matters involving you. i was sick, i was tired, i was exhausted. i wished it had ended well. i wanted to smile, i wanted to be laughing. but no. instead i was lost, i didn't know what to do. i don't know. i really wanna know what's bothering me.

you made me smile, make me smile again. im touched. =))


sung at 12:07 AM

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